Consider having another ideal. You are refusing compromise for no other reason than to be uncompromising in your commitment to your ideals. This is an illusory path to truth or happiness, if you're looking for either one of those lately.
Accept that you can only have your own face, your own neural pathways, your own experiences. Accept that these are the only things you will ever Know. Knowledge is philosophically satisfying, and it is absolutely not enough just to have your own experiences to work with. But as you have stated, the two are not compatible. Reject Knowledge, not the attempt to experience other minds.
If you've made up your mind that communication has to be instantaneous, equal, and absolutely congruent through partners, then I suppose you have made your decision. If you are looking to experience what another person experiences, ask yourself why your own experience is not enough. Where do you think you're going to find this "fire", this "essence"? Not in others, I can assure you. Your metaphysical dreams of other becoming one are distracting you from your duty to yourself. You obviously miss having passion; I recommend having it, and I know you don't think you have it, but you're wrong.
You are the only perfect communicator you'll ever be able to talk to, and to reject out of hand an honest offer to try and find best-possible communication between self and other is perhaps foolish, perhaps over-skeptical, perhaps you have become a Platonist. If you want to wait around for your other half to show up, be my guest. But I feel sorely cheated knowing that I've only been talking to half a person all this time.